Saturday, June 14, 2008

Please don’t steal my money, jerk-head!

NICE, FRANCE – Steve, Carrie & Eric approach a cash machine to make withdrawals. They take the westernmost of three cash machines. Some dude has been camped out at the east cash machine for the entire time it takes for the three Euro-pals to withdraw their money. Pretty friggin’ suspicious, if you ask them.

There are two other guys about 20 feet to his left who are obviously looking to pounce on unsuspecting tourists who’ve just received wads of Euro bills from the ATM. They’re in their very early 20s. Eric sizes them up to estimate exactly how much whoop ass he’s going to have to bring to these guys if they make a move. The three tourists get their money and walk away without incident. Steve and Eric discuss a plan for beating the tar out of people who try to rob them, and agree that ‘it’s gonna be ohhhhhnnnnn!’ if anyone decides to mess with the Euro-pals.

“You’re traveling with two grown men,” Chris Schomig informed her daughter. “They’ll keep you safe if you make sure to stay near them the entire time!”

Chris was not wrong! Carrie was traveling with two of the most Adonis-like grown men the world has ever known. Women flock from every continent in hopes of catching even a momentary glance at the duo, who call each other Ace & Gary for fun.

“What can I say about Steve?” asks Carrie. “He’s the best boyfriend ever, and he’s independently wealthy. He just has a job because he feels sorry for society. And Eric... well, I think it’s clear that he’s the tallest 5’9” and three-quarters guy I’ve ever met. No surprise there. He’s independently wealthy as well, but drives a station wagon to keep a low profile. I am SO LUCKY to have traveled with these two grown men.”

And back to reality… Fortunately, our trip was without incident with regard to robbery and ass-whoopin’, but I credit that mostly to money belts, luck, and the fact that we were careful to look out for each other. We definitely had each others’ backs! One other critical factor was some excellent advice we got from our jolly Hotel Medieval manager, Mike, in Avignon. He told us that pick-pocketers were all over the place, and, consequently, we should follow three rules at the cash machine:

1. cover your ATM card from the moment it leaves your money belt to the moment it enters the card reader

2. cover the PIN pad when you enter your PIN

3. get your money into your money belt asap, and worry about arranging it later, when you’re away from the ATM and in more private surroundings

No comments: